All Episodes

After growing up as one of the shyest kids—constantly moving, constantly adapting—Bennett Peji never imagined he would become a leader responsible for bringing entire communities together. From feeling like an outsider to leading large-scale, community-centered design projects, Bennett’s journey is a testament to the power of adaptability, empathy, and intentional growth.This episode of Lonely at the Top is about redefining leadership through service, not control. It’s about learning to navigate uncertainty without needing to predict the future, building trust across diverse perspectives, and turning what once felt like weaknesses into your greatest strengths. It’s also about embracing change—not resisting it—and discovering how leadership can be a shared experience rather than a solitary burden.Episode Highlights How Bennett transformed extreme shyness into a leadership superpower  Why adaptability is one of the most valuable skills a leader can develop  The challenge of leading diverse communities with competing perspectives  What it really means to “share the load” as a leader instead of carrying it alone  Why predicting the future isn’t necessary—and what to focus on instead  The power of listening and letting others co-create solutions  How constant change in childhood shaped Bennett’s leadership style  The hidden cost of leadership: losing touch with your original craft  Why preparation—not spontaneity—is the key to confident communication  How meditation and intentional routines support long-term leadership wellbeing Connect with BennettBennett’s LinkedIn Bennett’s Website★ Support this podcast ★

After decades moving between corporate leadership, consulting, and academia, Jeff McAuliffe has seen leadership from every angle. From sitting at executive tables to building his own consulting practice from scratch, he’s learned that “the top” isn’t a fixed place—and that loneliness shows up in ways most people don’t expect.This episode of Lonely at the Top is about the quiet realities of leadership that no one prepares you for. It’s about navigating influence when you don’t have control, the tension between authority and authenticity, and what it really costs to hold both.It’s also about redefining leadership as something more human: less about having answers, and more about creating space for truth.Episode HighlightsWhy “the top” is relative—and why loneliness can exist at every levelThe hidden isolation of entrepreneurship and solo consultingMoving from corporate leadership to building something on your ownWhy great leaders don’t need to be “the one in charge”The challenge of influencing without authorityWhat leaders wish they could say out loud (but usually don’t)Why “I don’t know” might be the most powerful leadership toolThe role of emotions in leadership—and why most leaders avoid themNavigating environments where authority doesn’t workLeading through uncertainty while holding information you can’t shareConnect with JeffJeff's Linkedin ★ Support this podcast ★

Lauren Goche has cracked the code on something most leaders never admit they need: community. A principal real estate broker, micro-influencer, and self-described love bully, Lauren built her career by staying connected — and then discovered that even she had a chaos habit she didn't see coming. In this episode, she talks with Rachel about the expensive sabbatical lesson that revealed she didn't know how to be calm, what it looks like to lead a team with radical care as the operating principle, and the strange isolating side effects of becoming someone people recognize in restaurants, on front porches, and at lunch while accidentally stealing your phone.Episode Highlights•⁠  ⁠She nearly took a job she dreaded — and a chance conference encounter changed everything•⁠  ⁠Why Lauren deliberately chose never to own her own brokerage ("it's more headache and more lonely")•⁠  ⁠The Mexico property: how a sabbatical got too quiet and she manufactured chaos to escape the calm•⁠  ⁠Scarcity to abundance: growing up with housing instability and what it meant to be able to lose big without losing everything•⁠  ⁠The love bully philosophy — why care for each other comes before care for clients, and why she'll bring you a sandwich whether you consent or not•⁠  ⁠The parasocial side of Instagram fame: being recognized at her own front porch, and having a fan sprint away with her phone•⁠  ⁠Lost friendships, nervous system repair, and learning to say no as a complete sentence•⁠  ⁠Why community isn't soft — it's the infrastructure of a sustainable businessConnect with LaurenLauren's Instagram

Dr. Mark Vossler spent 30 years as a cardiologist before most people retire from their first career. He was medical director of cardiac services for a decade, managed physicians, navigated hospital politics, and learned the hard way that medicine is really just people work with better equipment.Then he retired. And got busier.Now he leads Physicians for Social Responsibility, a national organization built on a striking premise: 80% of health outcomes have nothing to do with medical care. They're determined by your zip code, your income, your race, your environment. So if you actually care about keeping people alive, you have to go upstream to legislators, policy, and power.This episode is about what it takes to lead when you can't fire anyone, when the stakes are existential, and when caring too much can paralyze the very people you need to move.It's about knowing when to say no, how to protect what's yours, and why likability — real likability, not performed likability — might be the most underrated leadership asset there is.Episode HighlightsWhy 80% of health outcomes are determined by factors medicine can't fixManaging physician egos vs. managing volunteers — and which is harderThe fine line between being worried enough to act and so worried you shut downWhy facts don't persuade people — and what actually doesWhat Fred Rogers' congressional testimony teaches every leader about influenceThe 8pm Saturday call that signals your job is falling apartConnect with MarkMark's LinkedinEmail: wpsr@wpsr.org★ Support this podcast ★

He built influence in rooms that were never designed with him in mind.Growing up in Boyle Heights, Los Angeles, Alfred Fraijo, Jr. grew up food insecure in one of LA's most underserved neighborhoods. Now he's reshaping the cities that once failed communities like his. He built a career at the top of a major international law firm, then walked away to bet everything on himself.This episode of Lonely at the Top is about what it feels like to carry leadership while holding identities that haven’t always been welcomed in positions of power.It’s about navigating ambition while staying connected to community.It's about leading projects worth hundreds of millions of dollars while addressing deeper issues of belonging, responsibility, and representation.Episode HighlightsGrowing up as the first person in his household to finish high school, and understanding power from an early ageRising to leadership inside elite legal spaces as a queer, Latino executiveFounding a multidisciplinary development firm rooted in social impactBuilding cities that reflect the communities they serveStaying grounded while operating at the edge of financial risk every dayRedefining what responsible leadership looks likeEnding every colleague call with "I love you" and making a case for why more leaders should tooConnect with AlfredWebsite: Somos GroupEmail: alfred@somosgroup.org

Dan Graham spent 30 years at Sony, rising from organizing office supplies to managing 150 people, all without the pedigree or resume you’d expect.But his defining leadership moment wasn’t the promotion.It was the day he was called into HR and told he might lose his job, not because the numbers were bad, but because he’d forgotten the people behind them.This episode is about what happens when success quietly turns into pressure, pressure turns into reactivity, and a leader has to face the impact of his own behavior.It’s about fear. Accountability. And the courage to change in public.Episode Highlights• A late-night cafeteria conversation that changed the trajectory of his career• Promoted over colleagues with more education and experience• Managing 150 people without formal training• Turning off the lights in a tense executive meeting to reset the room• Forgetting his mission under mounting performance pressure• Being reported to HR by his own supervisors• Confronting the impact of his anger on the people he cared about most• The first honest conversation about fear in his entire life• Public accountability — and rebuilding trust with his teamConnect with DanWebsite: https://www.dpgphotos.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dpgphotos0105/

In this episode of Lonely at the Top, Rachel sits down with Dr. Kazique J. Prince, psychologist, executive consultant, and creator of the Djembe Card Deck, for a deeply human conversation about dignity, authenticity, and the quiet loneliness that comes with leadership.Drawing from decades of experience advising mayors, CEOs, and change-makers, Dr. Prince challenges the myth that authority requires emotional distance. He explores how leaders can remain grounded in their humanity while holding power — and why true leadership is less about being “right” and more about ensuring that everyone walks away with their dignity intact.Together, they unpack how authenticity develops over time, why cultural awareness starts with self-examination, and how leaders can create environments of trust and belonging without sacrificing clarity or authority. Episode Highlights:Leadership doesn’t exempt you from being humanPower doesn’t mean you stop needing mutual recognitionThe real danger of leadership is not stress; it’s disconnectionCulture, hierarchy, and roles are real, and they don’t erase our shared nervous systemsThe goal isn’t agreement or “rightness,"  it’s relational intactnessLeadership should not require anyone to disappear — including the leader.Connect with Dr. Kazique Prince:jelaniconsultingllc.com djembedeck.com

In this episode of Lonely at the Top, Rachel sits down with Emma Whittard, a former senior executive in global children’s publishing turned transformational coach for women leaders in midlife.Emma shares what it was really like to rise through the ranks at companies like Disney, DreamWorks, and Warner Brothers, including the invisible loneliness of being the only person in the room who knew how to build something entirely new. From running international publishing businesses to launching a startup-within-a-studio at DreamWorks, Emma reflects on the emotional cost of responsibility, especially when success quickly turned into loss and layoffs.Together, Rachel and Emma explore the isolating reality of leadership decisions that affect livelihoods, the lack of mentorship for innovators inside large organizations, and how women in particular are conditioned to carry enormous pressure quietly. Emma also speaks candidly about midlife transitions—shedding inherited stories of worth, productivity, and self-sacrifice—and why the best leaders are those who stay curious, ask great questions, and allow themselves to remain human.Episode Highlights“I was the only person in the entire company who had ever done this before.”Emma describes the profound loneliness of building a new business inside DreamWorks with no roadmap and no peers.Creating a global business plan while sitting on her bed with a toddler nearbyA striking image of how leadership, motherhood, and pressure collided in real time.The moment everything changed from expansion to contractionBeing asked to dismantle the very team she had just built—and how close that brought her to burnout.“That’s the closest I’ve ever come to a breakdown.”Emma’s most vulnerable admission about the emotional toll of leadership without support.The spa certificate that saved her nervous systemA small but profound example of how self-care—not strategy—was what she actually needed.“Leaders who ask great questions are the best leaders.”Emma reframes leadership as humility, curiosity, and connection rather than certainty.What she would do differently nowNaming mentorship and embodied support as non-negotiables for anyone at the top.Connect with Emma:EmmaWhittard.com

In this episode of Lonely at the Top, Rachel sits down with Sorby Grant, President and CEO of Climb Hire, an equity-focused workforce development nonprofit supporting underemployed adults in accessing real economic mobility.Sorby reflects on the emotional cost of being the decision-maker, the pressure of stewarding a mission rooted in justice and opportunity, and the quiet exhaustion that can make it hard to recognize success while you’re living it.A central thread of the conversation is social capital — how access to relationships, trust, and informal networks determines who gets opportunities and who stays stuck. Sorby unpacks why talent alone is rarely enough, how the “hidden job market” really works, and why teaching people how to build professional relationships is a critical equity intervention.She also opens up about her own leadership evolution: stepping into the CEO role after working closely inside the organization, navigating the shadow of a founder with a very different leadership style, and learning to claim her own authority without losing the heart of the mission.Connect with Sorby:https://climbhire.co/Sorby@climbhire.co

In this episode, Michelle Markwart Deveaux—author, singer, facilitator, coach, and founder of multiple mission-driven businesses— shares her journey from theology and the arts into business ownership, and the often unseen emotional labor of building something meaningful in systems that weren’t designed to sustain creatives. She speaks candidly about self-doubt at high levels of leadership, the difference between being nice and being clear, and why direct communication, while necessary, can deepen isolation at the top.Together, Rachel and Michelle unpack how leaders learn to keep moving forward even while privately questioning their worth, impact, or belonging. Michelle reflects on her desire to be impactful rather than “important,” and why self-examination is not indulgent but essential for ethical, sustainable leadership.Episode HighlightsA candid exploration of how self-doubt often increases—not decreases—at higher levels of leadership, especially for women and femme founders.Michelle unpacks the difference between being nice and being kind, and why leaders eventually have to choose clarity over likability.A nuanced conversation about how direct communication creates effectiveness while simultaneously increasing isolation at the top.Insight into how many creatives and consultants unintentionally undervalue their work due to inherited narratives about money, art, and service.A powerful reframing of leadership success: impact over importance, and why visibility without integrity leads to burnout.Discussion of how leaders often miss or minimize opportunities because they’ve learned to downplay their own significance, particularly in female-socialized leaders.An honest look at how leadership requires holding consent, agency, and boundaries in environments that reward over-giving.Connect with Michellehttps://thespeakeasycooperative.com/https://www.instagram.com/thespeakeasycooperative/https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-markwart-deveaux/Michelle@faithculturekiss.com

In this deeply transformational episode, international teacher and healer Zach Rehder explores what happens on the other side of loneliness.Zach shares how, despite years of seeking, studying, and gathering spiritual knowledge, he still suffered loneliness until an unexpected flood of despair in a Chipotle parking lot forced him into surrender. What he found on the other side wasn’t destruction, but liberation.Zach reframes stress and anxiety as friends, signals that we’ve left presence. He explains how resistance to our feelings — not the emotion itself — is what creates suffering, and how embracing the fullness of human experience allows leaders to access deeper clarity, compassion, and inner spaciousness.✨ Episode Highlights• Stress and anxiety as alliesZach explains why these sensations are not failures, but friends guiding us back to presence.• The awakening in the Chipotle parking lotA sudden wave of despair becomes the doorway to one of Zach’s most profound transformations from resisting emotions to finding their inherent beauty.• The real cause of sufferingIt’s never the sadness, loneliness, or anxiety that is the villain, it’s our resistance, judgment, and fear of the sensations themselves.• Rachel shares her own awakening visionDuring one of Zach’s breathwork workshops, Rachel saw herself joined by other light-bearers — a moment that dissolved the illusion of isolation in her path.• The limits of knowledgeZach describes spending decades devouring spiritual information, only to realize that understanding doesn’t create transformation, presence does.• Why leaders overwork, overperform, and overrun their bodiesRachel reflects on how high achievers use productivity as a socially acceptable form of emotional avoidance until the body can no longer sustain it.• The invitation to stop fighting yourselfZach’s core message: all the emotions we fear are simply energy and when we stop resisting them, they become pathways to clarity and freedom.Connect with Zachhttps://www.zachrehder.com/

In this raw and deeply human conversation, therapist, consultant, and founder Sarah Buino pulls back the curtain on what it really cost her to build — and ultimately let go of — a thriving group therapy practice. Sarah shares how rapid growth, unhealed trauma, and a crushing sense of responsibility left her completely burnt out, pushed her into residential treatment, and forced her to confront her relationship with work at the deepest level.This episode explores the emotional toll of being “the boss,” the hidden loneliness of being the person everyone depends on, and the courage required to tell the truth when your success is slowly destroying your wellbeing. Sarah’s story is a powerful reminder that leadership doesn’t require martyrdom, and that sometimes the bravest move is to walk away.Trigger Warning: discussion of suicidal ideationEpisode HighlightsThe breaking point: Sarah describes the moment she realized she was “literally failing at everything” after tripling her staff and workload — and how burnout overtook her completely.The emotional cost of leadership: Why being “the boss” created expectations, pressure, and isolation she never could have prepared for.Trauma rising to the surface: How unresolved childhood trauma collided with the demands of running a business, ultimately pushing her into residential treatment.Radical honesty: The moment she looked her future executive director in the eye during the interview and said, “I don’t want to do this anymore.”Letting go without shame: Why selling her practice wasn’t a failure but an act of profound self-trust.A different way to lead: How Sarah now works with therapists on aligning their inner healing with the way they run their businesses — so no one else has to crash the way she did.A message to leaders: If your success is costing you your health, your joy, or your sanity… it’s okay to choose yourself.Connect with Sarah https://www.headheartbiztherapy.com/https://www.headheartbiztherapy.com/podcast

Dee Meacham, Senior Vice President of People Solutions, has built her career at the intersection of technology and humanity. From being one of only four women in her engineering class to leading global transformation initiatives, Dee has learned to thrive in the gray—where systems meet people and innovation meets tradition. In this conversation with host Rachel Alexandria, Dee shares how she built a career that bridges human insight and technical precision, what it means to lead through paradox, and how she’s cultivated connection and resilience in spaces where few peers truly understand the path she walks.💡 Episode HighlightsBridging people and systems: Dee reflects on her unique career spanning engineering, technology, and HR—and how she’s built fluency in both logic and empathy.From Disney to the boardroom: How a spontaneous job application reshaped her career and taught her to say yes to surprising opportunities.Leading through paradox: The delicate balance between data and intuition, detail and big picture, and why leaders must hold both truths at once.The human factor in innovation: Why successful transformation depends less on tools and more on the people who adopt them.Connection by design: How Dee proactively builds networks and mentors to counteract the isolation of high-level leadership.Resilience in constant change: Lessons from decades of working in environments defined by disruption—and how to keep growing without burning out.Connect with DeeLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deemeacham/Dee Recommendshttps://gogiftedones.org/

Gwen Bortner has spent her career thriving where others hesitate—inside systems, startups, and boardrooms that weren’t designed for her. As the founder and CEO of Everyday Effectiveness, Gwen has led teams across 47 industries, from tech to telecom to fiber arts, and knows firsthand what it means to stand out at the table.In this episode, host Rachel Alexandria and Gwen talk about being “the only one in the room,” what happens when competence becomes isolation, and how neurodivergence and curiosity can both challenge and empower leadership. It’s a candid conversation about the quiet cost of success—and how to stay connected, grounded, and effective when you’re the outlier everyone relies on.💡 Episode HighlightsFrom coder to CEO: How Gwen built a career across 47 industries and what that breadth taught her about systems, leadership, and adaptation.Curiosity as fuel: Why problem-solvers often rise fastest, and how that same drive can lead to burnout and loneliness.Neurodivergence and entrepreneurship: How ADHD traits show up in founders, and why “different wiring” can be both a superpower and a stressor.The lone woman in the room: Gwen shares the isolation of being the only female executive in a rapidly growing tech company, and the invisible politics that come with it.Turning difference into design: How Gwen helps leaders harness what makes them unique to build organizations that actually work for humans.Redefining effectiveness: The shift from proving yourself to creating impact with ease and intentionality.Connect with GwenWebsite: https://everydayeffectiveness.com/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gwen-bortner/

When you’re at the top, no one can hand you a map. The path forward is yours to navigate, and sometimes, the only compass you have is your own intuition. In this solo episode, host and Soul Medic Rachel Alexandria explores how leaders can learn to trust their inner knowing when logic and strategy fall short. Drawing from her own journey and lessons from past guests, she shares how intuition speaks through the body, why so many of us were taught to ignore it, and how reconnecting with this internal guidance becomes essential for making brave, heart-centered decisions.

In this candid conversation, real estate developer Ginger Hitzke joins Lonely at the Top to talk about what it really costs to lead with heart. A first-generation business owner who went from housing insecurity to building over 2,000 affordable apartments, Ginger shares how she carries the emotional and ethical burden of her work — deciding rent increases, managing cash flow, and being both landlord and renter advocate.She opens up about the loneliness of being “the one who decides,” her lifelong fear of slipping back into poverty, and why compassion often costs money. Ginger also talks about embracing Soft Girl Summer as a new boundary practice, the power of “unearned self-confidence,” and why every leader should be brave enough to say, “I don’t know.”This episode is an honest portrait of a woman who leads from both grit and grace, proving that strength and softness can coexist at the top.✨ Episode HighlightsIsolation is part of the deal: Ginger describes how even after 18 years leading her own company, the sense of isolation “never ends” within an organization.The cost of conscience: The woman behind 2,000 affordable units shares how deciding rent increases for hundreds of residents each year tests both her heart and her balance sheet.Better me than someone who doesn’t care: Ginger explains why she continues to shoulder difficult decisions because she knows she’ll do it with integrity.Scrappy by necessity: Growing up with housing insecurity, she built her business from survival instinct, and yet still carries the fear of “ending up in the gutter.”The reality of leadership: From cash flow panic to employee dynamics, Ginger names the unspoken truth: leadership is hard, and pretending otherwise helps no one.Soft Girl Summer: After decades of overextension, she’s learning to do less, set tighter boundaries, and become “less accessible” as an act of growth.Unearned confidence: Ginger reflects on the self-assurance she’s always carried and how owning it has become one of her greatest assets.Ginger recommends: Support LGTBQ Latino elected officials in California via Honor PAC.  

In this episode, Erin Reeves, co-founder and principal at Next Level Org, brings over 25 years of executive strategy and HR leadership to an open, grounded conversation about what it really feels like to sit at the decision-maker’s table. Erin shares how each step up the leadership ladder expands not only your view but also your sense of isolation — and how asking better questions can become a quiet act of courage. She talks about navigating self-doubt, building self-awareness, and finding outside perspectives when your inner critic grows loud. Drawing on her experience guiding organizations through mergers, restructures, and personal reinvention, Erin offers a deeply human look at how leaders can steady themselves, reconnect with purpose, and lead with both clarity and compassion — even when they feel most alone.Episode HighlightsThe shifting view: Each promotion brings a new perspective — and bigger gaps between those who’ve “been there” and those who haven’t.The power of questions: How asking thoughtful questions creates space, builds credibility, and reshapes executive conversations.Managing the inner critic: Erin shares her own internal stories of self-doubt and how leaders can reframe the question, “Is this true?”.Outside-in thinking: Why every executive needs people who can see what they can’t — mentors, coaches, or truth-tellers outside the organization.Steadying the self: How self-awareness, discipline, and vulnerability allow leaders to lead their teams with integrity, even under pressure.Redefining success: Erin’s insight that leadership isn’t about always being right — it’s about asking what needs to happen next, even when the map isn’t clear.Connect with Erin: Website - https://www.nextlevelorg.net/Email - Erin@nextlevelorg.netLinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/erinreeves-nextlevel/

In this solo episode, Rachel reflects on a listener’s response to Executive Fashion as Armor, Ritual, and Identity with Susana Perczek — specifically the power of hearing a woman speak positively about herself without apology. Rachel explores the generational messages many of us received about “not being too big for your britches” and how those lessons often left us afraid to celebrate our own talents. She shares personal stories about holding back from stepping into leadership as a young student, and how learning to name and honor her strengths became an essential part of her healing. This episode invites listeners to consider where they fall on the spectrum between self-effacing and self-affirming, and to imagine what it would feel like to confidently raise their hand and say, “I want to be known for this.”

In this episode, Megan Gluth, owner and CEO of Catalynt Solutions, shares her remarkable journey from attorney to industry leader in chemical distribution — and how she doubled the size of her company in just a few years while navigating the chaos of a global pandemic. Raised on food stamps in rural Iowa, Meg brings both grit and vision to her role, blending sharp business acumen with a deep commitment to what she calls human-centered capitalism. She opens up about the weight of carrying responsibility for employees, the anxiety of leading in times of uncertainty, and how sobriety, intuition, and discipline help her stay grounded as she flies through “dark roads without a map.” This candid conversation reveals what it really takes to lead with both courage and humanity at the top.Episode HighlightsOrigins & grit: Megan reflects on growing up on food stamps in rural Iowa and how that shaped her resourcefulness as a leader.Pandemic pressure: Just weeks after buying her company, the global shutdown hit, and she had to rally her team through terrifying uncertainty.Flying blind: She describes leading now as like “driving a car on a dark road you’ve never driven before” — terrifying but unavoidable.Human-centered capitalism: Why profitability is a tool for generosity, from paying 100% of employee health benefits to quietly covering strangers’ grocery bills.Sobriety & self-discipline: How practices like yoga, meditation, and careful self-care help her manage the emotional toll of leadership.The weight of leadership: Why CEOs must project steadiness even when they’re terrified, because, as she says, “I’m the driver, and everyone else in the car has to feel safe.”Connect with MegWebsite: https://www.megangluth.com/

In this solo episode, Rachel Alexandria shares the origin story of Lonely at the Top. She reflects on her two decades of work with high performers, the blend of therapeutic, coaching, and spiritual practices she brings to leaders, and the repeated moments that sparked the podcast’s creation. Rachel describes why she felt called to make space for honest conversations about the invisible burdens of leadership, the unique isolation that comes with power, and the need for a sanctuary where leaders can feel understood and less alone.